I made a sudden realisation today.
In the midst of all the craziness and the drama out there, I've lost sight of who I really am.
There's only so much you can take and keep bottled up before you ultimately crack.
I've really thrown myself in the deep end here and I can't stop drowning.
As Coldplay so rightly sings out:
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah...
I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah...
After a really eye-opening talk with one of my closest friends, I realised I'm just avoiding what's on my mind and distracting myself with everybody else's drama.
So that's it. No more drama for me.
Must deal with what's going on alone with just my thoughts and surrounding exam notes.
Must keep the focus. Gotta keep it simple.
So the social butterfly is going into hiding.
I've deactivated the FB account and probably won't be on MSN for quite a while.
But don't worry, I'm endeavouring to come out of all of this with a smile on my face, a clear head and high hopes for the future.
Stay tuned for a new and improved me.
A last note to everyone:
For the uni students, good luck for your exams.
For the full-timers, enjoy and make the most of your long weekend.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
It's come to that time.
I am sick. ONCE AGAIN!!!
I swear I don't get sick this often. Don't even know how this came about!!
In the midst of my illness, I've noticed a few things:
1. I'm more caring and less bitchy.
2. I think about things more than normal.
3. I'm always craving what I can't have. Things like chocolate, coffee, hot chocolate, chips, pearl tea, etc etc.
Probably not the best time to blog considering I'm WAY behind in my lecture recordings but meh, this will be more interesting to read in the end than my lecture notes.
So I was thinking about some of the conversations I've had with friends lately. I actually think I've changed heaps over the last month. If you don't talk to me on a regular basis, you probably wouldn't have noticed. For those who dunno, long story cut short, I HAVE A DARK SIDE. I didn't think it was that bad at first but I think I've suppressed it all these years until now. Don't even know what triggered it. And for the record, I don't like it. It's created a lotta uncertainty in myself and it's really been an eye-opener. Dunno what to do...
On the bright side, my one month ban on shopping for myself and Maccas ends today. Hurrah!! I'm grabbing Maccas for lunch and gonna shop with Mummy dearest at the Myer stocktake sale preview tomorrow night.
I thought this was gonna be a longer blog post but I got side-tracked by other things. Maybe I'll elaborate when I'm not in so much of a coughing fit.
I am sick. ONCE AGAIN!!!
I swear I don't get sick this often. Don't even know how this came about!!
In the midst of my illness, I've noticed a few things:
1. I'm more caring and less bitchy.
2. I think about things more than normal.
3. I'm always craving what I can't have. Things like chocolate, coffee, hot chocolate, chips, pearl tea, etc etc.
Probably not the best time to blog considering I'm WAY behind in my lecture recordings but meh, this will be more interesting to read in the end than my lecture notes.
So I was thinking about some of the conversations I've had with friends lately. I actually think I've changed heaps over the last month. If you don't talk to me on a regular basis, you probably wouldn't have noticed. For those who dunno, long story cut short, I HAVE A DARK SIDE. I didn't think it was that bad at first but I think I've suppressed it all these years until now. Don't even know what triggered it. And for the record, I don't like it. It's created a lotta uncertainty in myself and it's really been an eye-opener. Dunno what to do...
On the bright side, my one month ban on shopping for myself and Maccas ends today. Hurrah!! I'm grabbing Maccas for lunch and gonna shop with Mummy dearest at the Myer stocktake sale preview tomorrow night.
I thought this was gonna be a longer blog post but I got side-tracked by other things. Maybe I'll elaborate when I'm not in so much of a coughing fit.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Catharsis 23 - May
1. 'Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option.' Rings way too true in my opinion.
2. Really want a change of scenery soon.
3. It's a bit chilly.
4. Am I hooked? If I am, frick on a stick with a brick.
5. Even though it was the first and last time, I'm so glad I went.
6. I don't wanna be your doormat anymore. It's just not worth it.
7. The cynic inside has come back. Awesome.
8. Even though I don't see you as much as I used to, you always know how to get me laughing and get my mind off things.
9. Can't please anyone if I can't please myself first.
10. Another crap exam timetable. SIGH.
11. Taking one for the team is gayness up the anus.
12. Why does emotion always trump logic? Why why why why why???
13. What a surprise. Did better than expected.
14. Ahhh... where are you when I need you? I need to spill my guts.
15. Well, I won't be the one to disappoint you anymore...
16. This better be worth it all. I'm gonna be annoyed if it doesn't work out.
17. Please don't do me any favours. I'm really not worth it.
18. Get me some loud rock music please.
19. Sometimes I wish I had your mentality. Stupid, complex mind of mine.
20. Freakin' make up your mind. Even I'm getting annoyed.
21. Will be so glad when this is over tomorrow.
22. Wish I could just stay in bed all day and night. It means I won't have to deal with anything. Just sleep.
23. I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this...
2. Really want a change of scenery soon.
3. It's a bit chilly.
4. Am I hooked? If I am, frick on a stick with a brick.
5. Even though it was the first and last time, I'm so glad I went.
6. I don't wanna be your doormat anymore. It's just not worth it.
7. The cynic inside has come back. Awesome.
8. Even though I don't see you as much as I used to, you always know how to get me laughing and get my mind off things.
9. Can't please anyone if I can't please myself first.
10. Another crap exam timetable. SIGH.
11. Taking one for the team is gayness up the anus.
12. Why does emotion always trump logic? Why why why why why???
13. What a surprise. Did better than expected.
14. Ahhh... where are you when I need you? I need to spill my guts.
15. Well, I won't be the one to disappoint you anymore...
16. This better be worth it all. I'm gonna be annoyed if it doesn't work out.
17. Please don't do me any favours. I'm really not worth it.
18. Get me some loud rock music please.
19. Sometimes I wish I had your mentality. Stupid, complex mind of mine.
20. Freakin' make up your mind. Even I'm getting annoyed.
21. Will be so glad when this is over tomorrow.
22. Wish I could just stay in bed all day and night. It means I won't have to deal with anything. Just sleep.
23. I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this...
Friday, April 23, 2010
No motivation la...
Been stalking my friends' blogs lately and I've noticed that most make their blogs more interesting by adding random photos here and there. I'm joining the bandwagon and will endeavour to add photos when I can between my boring lines of text.
In less exciting news, it's less than 12 hrs before my dreaded Corp Law exam. ZOMG, there is so much to read and so little time!!! *sighs* Below is the amount of notes I have to read for 4 weeks' worth of the course plus the amount of tabs [spammage much?] in my Corp legislation.
Can't get myself to read for long periods of time so I procrastinated by splurging a bit at JB Hifi and now I'm blogging and catching glimpses of the Broncos-Bulldogs and the Cowboys-Eels games. Could've been getting ready to go to Babyface now =(
Now that I'm watching the footy, I'm so devo at the Storm scandal. Although now that I properly think about it, I'm surprised the breach took so long to uncover. Just look at who's on the team!! Sif you'd be within the salary cap with players like Slater, Smith and Inglis. Oh well, I only hope that Melbourne try to make up for it with some solid games and hopefully Slater, Inglis, Smith and Cronk get picked for Origin.
On the bright side, can't wait for brekkie tomorrow!!! Plus it's long weekend too so I should probably make some plans. Any ideas?
In less exciting news, it's less than 12 hrs before my dreaded Corp Law exam. ZOMG, there is so much to read and so little time!!! *sighs* Below is the amount of notes I have to read for 4 weeks' worth of the course plus the amount of tabs [spammage much?] in my Corp legislation.
Can't get myself to read for long periods of time so I procrastinated by splurging a bit at JB Hifi and now I'm blogging and catching glimpses of the Broncos-Bulldogs and the Cowboys-Eels games. Could've been getting ready to go to Babyface now =(
Now that I'm watching the footy, I'm so devo at the Storm scandal. Although now that I properly think about it, I'm surprised the breach took so long to uncover. Just look at who's on the team!! Sif you'd be within the salary cap with players like Slater, Smith and Inglis. Oh well, I only hope that Melbourne try to make up for it with some solid games and hopefully Slater, Inglis, Smith and Cronk get picked for Origin.
On the bright side, can't wait for brekkie tomorrow!!! Plus it's long weekend too so I should probably make some plans. Any ideas?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sick of being sick...
I have an essay due on Monday.
Word limit: 1500-2000.
Number of words written: 0.
Screwed much?
Doesn't help that I'm sick as well. So convenient that I haven't been sick at all this year and as soon as I do, it's at a time when I really need to be well *sighs* Just gotta suck it up, build a bridge and get over it.
On the upside, I've been spending some quality time with some quality friends lately. My dearest CC came up for a visit over Easter and it was good to see her lovely face again. The Skype session was also a blast!! Can't wait to see you again my dear =) Also went to Anne's farewell over the weekend and I was glad I got to go 'cause I always seem to miss out on her other celebratory gatherings like her 21st and her graduation. I'm gonna miss you so much when you leave though =(
More fun times to come. About to head to my Japan group reunion for ramen ^__^ Hopefully that and a mah jong session will get me motivated to smash this assignment [in a good way].
Word limit: 1500-2000.
Number of words written: 0.
Screwed much?
Doesn't help that I'm sick as well. So convenient that I haven't been sick at all this year and as soon as I do, it's at a time when I really need to be well *sighs* Just gotta suck it up, build a bridge and get over it.
On the upside, I've been spending some quality time with some quality friends lately. My dearest CC came up for a visit over Easter and it was good to see her lovely face again. The Skype session was also a blast!! Can't wait to see you again my dear =) Also went to Anne's farewell over the weekend and I was glad I got to go 'cause I always seem to miss out on her other celebratory gatherings like her 21st and her graduation. I'm gonna miss you so much when you leave though =(
More fun times to come. About to head to my Japan group reunion for ramen ^__^ Hopefully that and a mah jong session will get me motivated to smash this assignment [in a good way].
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