I wish the real world would just stop hassling me...

*sighs* it's nearly come to the end of another sem...
and u know what? i've completely wasted my sem so far doing stuff i shouldn't have been doing...

so what have i got to show for it?
1. quite a big credit card bill
2. a LOT of classes i have to catch up on b4 SWOTVAC
3. an even messier room

but thinking positively, i've had some great times and great convos with some great friends so i shouldn't complain all that much hehe

a thought just occurred to me... this week has been all about cars!! i've heard 4 stories so far about cars in the following order:
1. a friend of mine got into their 2nd accident this yr...
2. a friend of mine got a brand new car...
3. a friend of mine is getting a new car thanks to their bro...
4. a friend of mine's car died on them tonite...

i've been inspired to take up reading again and my current read is 'The Facebook Book'... thanks to Anna for the lovely b'day pressie hehe it's a pretty funni read... i'd probably understand more if i was American but meh, it has its moments... i hope i can finish reading it tonite!!

another thing i've gotten back into is 'Balls of Steel'... was watching it on TV tonite and it's funni as hell... i'm usually not a fan of British humour but this is hilarious... and i thought Chasers was pretty hardcore with their pranks... personal faves r the Militant Black Guy and Alex Zane's game shows =)

okies, i'll stop being random now... i think it's all the coffee i've drank or all the food i ate... i've gained weight again >_<"

oh yeah, for those who r wondering about the title of the blog... it's just a reference to 'Real World' by Matchbox Twenty... been listening to their album lately =P

My busy, busy week...

Wed 24/9
~ hung out with Ketty at the City
~ went to class
~ watched Wall-e and had ice cream with Cam at Southbank

Thurs 25/9
~ hung out and karaoked with Ketty and Leana at the City
~ worked at nite

Fri 26/9
~ went pressie shopping
~ hung out with Chi, Jason, Sandy, Jess and Khoi throughout the nite

Sat 27/9
~ worked all day
~ went to Ruby's 21st
~ bummed at the City with Ketty, Chi and Jason

Sun 28/9
~ had lunch and karaoked with Ketty and Chi
~ watched Wall-e [again] with GY at Indro

Mon 29/9
~ went to BSA yum cha
~ bummed around Sunnybank then the City
~ went to the casino with Khoi and Ketty
~ went to Wu's 21st
~ played games at Replay with Ketty, Chi, Jason and Khoi

Tues 30/9
~ planning to play poker tonite with Khoi and possibly Ketty

it doesn't sound like much when u dot point everything but freakin' hell... being out every day is exhausting and drains out so much of ur money!!

What do u do...

+ when u've lost all motivation to achieve the goals in ur life?
+ when it all gets too hard?
+ when u've forgotten the last time u were truly happy?
+ when u dunno how to fix things?
+ when u want to turn to ur support network but can't?

i don't just want someone to tell me it's all gonna be okies... there needs to be proof...

pplz rely too much on the words of other pplz... and i've made that mistake too many times...

one lesson that i'll never forget: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

Catharsis 21 - September

1. age ain't nothing but a number...
2. tell me it's real... this feeling that i [might] feel...
3. i'm never planning anything again >_<"
4. the true colours r starting to show...
5. innocence is truly bliss...
6. what's the point? u're never gonna see me in that way...
7. give me a change in scenery... please!!!
8. Wall-e and Eve forever s2
9. so much to do, so little time...
10. actions speak a LOT louder than words...
11. let's go clubbing... for old time's sake =)
12. thanks for letting me get stuff outta my system...
13. i hate bottling certain things up... but i can't help it =(
14. maybe i do need a change in perspective...
15. is this what i want or am i just dreaming about it?
16. sometimes i wish it was more than it was... or maybe i don't...
17. i'm disappointed in u sometimes... u're not who i thought u were...
18. don't just say stuff that i wanna hear...
19. why aren't there more pplz like u around?
20. sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep!!!
21. take me back to when i was truly happy...

Just some thoughts...

okies, i've been neglecting my blog again... partly 'cause i've been occupied with social events and also 'cause i haven't had anything worthwhile to blog about... but i thought i'd blog my current thoughts tonite 'cause if i don't, i'll forget and it'll be a mighty shame...

i was sitting by the UQ lakes on Tues when i thought about this blog so pretty much what i'm typing in italics is from my thoughts on Tues... here goes...

i currently have 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls on repeat on my iPod and i think it reflects my mood quite perfectly...

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am...

i got dragged outta my house at 1am last nite to take a walk around the lake and i swear, there's something about being around water that gets me all reflective... or maybe it's the company... then again, i'm sitting by the UQ lakes as i write this so i think it's just the water hehe

a lotta things were brought up during this walk, one of which was my current state of mind... i got asked whether i believed in fate/destiny and i replied by saying that i didn't... that sorta set the rest of my convo in motion... do i just follow what everybody else thinks? am i that easy to manipulate? i've always been one to take everyone else's thoughts into consideration, but did i lose my own thoughts, my own point of view along the way?

it's kinda depressing when u don't believe in anything anymore... i've always been a bit of a cynic when it comes to some things but when it gets to the point where u feel like there's not much hope in anything, then that's a real worry...

*sighs* i hate the complexities of life... i reckon the happiest pplz r those who live the simple life or have a good support network that help them get through the highs and lows... since i'll never think of life as being a simple construct, i'll aim for the latter...

find out what i believe in...
find out what makes me happy...
then i'll build a bridge and get over my insecurities...
i'll be strong [at least emotionally]...
and i'll finally be happy... not 'cause i have to be but 'cause i want to be =)

i'd write more here but i'm getting sleepy... i'll write the rest of my thoughts later